Customer Reviews
Completely wrong approach - By: M. Morris, 26 Jun 2010 
After studying human social interaction for quite some time, I thought it would be handy to look at some actual phrases to add to the equation when dealing with difficult people & get a jist of what it really takes to tackle those really difficult people. I was severely disappointed once I began reading this book. I felt that the book comes off the tracks from the start & never gets back on. I have really focused on dealing with difficult peoplein the last 2 years, part of the reason was so I could have a better relationship with my father. Where this book goes completely awry to start off with is with the usage of the words "I" & "we." If you want to negotiate with a difficult person it is imperative that you focus on the third person & them specifically. By saying the word "I' continuously you subconsciously send the message that it is all about you & difficult people are less tolerant of other people than most & usually only respond to the focus being exclusively on themselves & the consequence of not cooperating with "the group." Instead of "I need" it would be far better to say "there needs to be" or "the company needs." Difficult people don't care what you need. The other faux pas is the usage of "we." To a difficult person "we" sends the message that you & them are onein the same, which at this point the difficult person is completely against. Unless you have some kind of previously established comradery I would avoid using this word at all costs. The second part of getting a difficult person to cooperate is to make them feel that there might be an implied sense of loss or embarrassment if they don't cooperate. And difficult people usually only respond to hard persuasion which involves dramatic things such as loss or embarrassment. The other thing is to make sure that you tell them how much time they have to cooperate. I highly doubt that 95% of people out there would have the gall to actually verbalize the blunt messages offeredin this book directly to the personin question as well. An ideal starter messagein my opinion would be "John, can I talk to you about xyz, do you have time now to talk?" Then you could follow that up with "John, when you do xyz behavior there's a kind of feeling of "name the specific emotion" because to some it seems like you don't care about efg." From there you could say "There needs to be a changein approach towards xyz by "specific time frame" or the company could lose bcd & there's a possibility that you, yourself, could lose (name consequence that implies a sense of embarrassment for them.) These are just my somewhat educated opinions, but are based on a lot of reading & research.
Excellent quick fixes for many situations - By: C. J. Lynch, 15 Jun 2010 
A great book, plenty of scenarios with great verbal fixes that will allow you maintain a managerial control. Turn stalematein to win-win, quash the big unruly personalities & massive egos, deal with the nasty. This book allows you maintain a bit of harmonyin a tough workplace. Thumbs up!! Take a moment to read & reflect on the situations that might occurin your workplace. I recently startedin a job where I "inherited" 8 HoD's, 3 of who previously "ran" the operation to their benefit & the detriment to many others. Happy to report this book gives you the nice edge with a no messing comeback. Well worth it!
Three Stars - By: D. Evans, 04 Oct 2009 I've read of few booksin this area.
This book is full of common sense phrases to use with difficult situations, but am I going to remember them all? ... not really. If you are the types of person who can remember hundreds of phrases - the buy this book.
For me though - this book doesn't really get to the root of why conflicts happen & how to solve them. I've read a couple of other books that have simple easy to remember theories that once you have read them give tips on how to recognise the different types of difficult people & how to handle them.
Perfect Phrases for Dealing with Difficult People: - By: Ms. S. A. Edwards, 25 Jun 2009 Very practical book, easy to read. I have used some of the phrases at work, which given me the confidence that I can deal with tricky personalities.
